Yard Padawan, anyone?

A couple of items to go along with my Star Wars movie review below...

Apparently, young 'uns become Jedi Knights in a sort of union contract deal where they learn from an elder Jedi. There is a Master, and an apprentice, or "Padawan." ("Well, ya see son, first yoose join the Jedi Local 108 an' start out as a Padawan. Then you do shit work fer a couple o' years, like cleanin' 'droids and emptin' Yoda's spit bucket. Den, after yoose show you can do a good job killin' clone warriors -- NEVER ON HOLIDAYS EXCEPTIN' YOU GET TIME-AND-A-HALF NOW! -- then yoose become a Jedi Master.")

Well folks, I would be happy to be someone's "Yard Padawan." Being a relatively new homeowner, I now have a yard. And I have NO IDEA what's weeds and what ain't. Oh sure, the roses I can tell what they are. But the rest of the plants growing in front of our house that have been planted by previous owners? What the hell IS all that stuff?

I need a Yard Master who will say: "Young Padawan, why are you letting this scheiss-grass and ugly-weed grow amongst the roses and flowering sage? Focus, my young apprentice...search your feelings and you will know which big, healthy green growing things are actually plants from...THE DARK SIDE!"

Yeah, okay, I guess I could get a book or something.

And finally...

"The dark side is a pathway to hedgehog slaughtering abilities that many believe to be...unnatural."

Surely, you can't be sidious!

I AM sidious, and don't call me Shirley!

Okay, now that that's out of the way, I can proceed with my review of "Star Wars III: Revenge of the Shit." Oh. Did I give away my feelings already?

Actually, I agree with most of the critiques I've read. This one is the best of the prequels (which of course is not saying a whole helluva lot). The marriage of CGI and live action is practically seamless. That said, does anyone else think that CGI just isn't good enough yet? I still think that "Blade Runner" (to which Lucas does a nice "fire plumes over the city" homage in SWIII) and the dragon in "Dragonslayer" beat any CGI creations hands down. Models for some reason just seem to have more depth. But that may just be me -- "Back in my day, they didn't have any fancy digital sampling ProTools whatsits! There was just a guitar, a bass, some drums and a microphone, with Pete Townsend, John Entwistle, Keith Moon and Roger Daltrey. Beat THAT you button-poking tweak-monkeys!"

But I digress. The film is the best looking of the lot and moves briskly (thank Christ). For some reason, technology now seems to have allowed Lucas to stage light saber duels at close range (with just the top half of the actors filling the screen, rather than the less effective full body shots of the past) which, when combined with Lucas' always astounding sound design, creates a far more inclusive experience for the viewer. However, Lucas still has a shocking disregard for little things like dialogue and getting good performances from actors. I haven't seen Hayden Christensen or Natalie Portman in anything else (Christensen was supposed to be pretty good in "Shattered Glass," and Portman decent in "Closer") but from what I've seen in the SW prequels, neither actor will make anyone forget Olivier or Streep anytime soon. Not that they've much to work with; the dialogue they're given to symbolize their love amounts to "I love you." "I love you more." "No, I love YOU more." If you haven't seen the movie yet, take that opportunity for a pee break...the film is over 2.5 hours long, and you don't want to miss the last third, which is a pip. The rest of the cast fares better. Mostly. Ewan McGregor manages not to embarrass himself, even though the fact that his hair was always perfect even after plunging off cliffs and engaging in hand-to-hand combat over molten lava flows bothered the SHIT out of me -- what, is perfect hair some kind of side benefit of the Force? Ian McDiarmid also has some great moments as Darth Sidious. However, he degenerates into such gleeful cackling towards the end that, if he'd had a mustache, he'd have been twirling the sucker. Again, George, are you actually WATCHING what your actors are doing, or are you only paying attention to whether or not they've hit their marks so that the CGI compositions look right?

In short, I can recommend the flick (it MUST be seen on a big screen with big sound) but wait 'til the matinee. If you're lucky, you can do what I did and show up on Free Popcorn Day, which was Tuesday. I guess the Force was with me!

PS -- If you want your villain to have serious dramatic heft, DON'T have him star in Burger King commercials.

PPS -- Does anyone else think that -- in the commercial where Darth Vader comes face-to-face with the new life-size plastic Burger King spokes-golem -- the BK guy is WAAAAAAAY more scary than Darth Vader?

Crazy 4 Luv

Okay, I'll be the first to admit that I'm sometimes a bit impetuous. I chalk this up to my alter-ego, "Smoky." Smoky is the kind of guy who, after a couple of beers says, "Hey! You know what would be a good idea? Let's fly to Vegas! Better yet, let's buy tickets for some friends and we'll all go fly stand-by! It won't seem to take very long if we never sober up!"

Occasionally, however, Smoky has a good idea. Take, for example, the fact that I flew this last weekend to Heidelberg to visit my wife. Total time away from home: 72 hours. Total time in transit: 28 hours. Total time spent with Argotnaut: priceless.

Granted, I didn't just go fly stand-by. I was able to get an extraordinary deal from studentuniverse.com, which made the trip fiscally possible. Then I had to take Buddy to the Howliday Inn Doggie Day Care center here in Portland (which is really wonderful and with which Buddy is already familiar) so the little dog had a good place to crash for three days. And then I negotiated with a neighbor, Greg, to look in on the kitties while I was away. Actually, no negotiation was necessary, as he was happy to do it -- plus he was rewarded with a big bottle of pilsner beer, some cognac-filled chocolates direct from Deutschland and, of course, the company of our very entertaining pussycats.

I didn't mention the trip in this space before now because I didn't want to advertise on the web when I'd be away from home. Call me paranoid. Go ahead. Everybody does.

So for those of you who bugged me for an update, well, first things first -- I was pretty busy getting everything in order for the trip. I won't provide particulars of the visit itself because this is a family site and if I went into detail then I'd have to charge folks to view its content. HOWEVER. I can say that Argotnaut and I enjoyed a lovely romantic weekend, including dinner at a wonderful Italian restaurant across a cobblestone street from a church that looks like this:

One would think I'd be pretty exhausted by the time I dragged my sorry ass on the plane for the trip home. One would be correct. But I was feeling better than the young man sitting in the row in front of me. He was illin' and covered himself with a Lufthansa blanket as if sealing himself in a body bag. He looked like this:

Buddy, of course, was gratifyingly happy to see his daddy and ran around the perimeter of Howliday Inn's office area for five minutes after I got there, tossing his stuffed hedgehog toy in the air the whole time. After he got home, he looked like this:

However, the cats remained in an enviable state of grace, serene upon their pedestals like Egyptian monuments guarding the tombs of kings...or in this case, guarding the counter by the stove where I open their cat food cans.

Without a doubt, the trip was worth the trouble. But I'll tell you one thing. I'm never spending this much time away from my wife again. As a matter of fact, I think I'll visit studentuniverse.com again right now...

Deutschland Dregs

Okay, whilst downing a few delicious Northwest-brewed beers, I finally managed to catch up on my Heidelberg photos and provide not-so-witty accompanying commentary.

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety Jig!

No matter how much you enjoy the place you've been, you're always glad to be home. Many thanks to my brother, Steve, who looked after the house and the "boys," otherwise known as Buddy, Cookie and Buster. As a gift to Steve, I brought home two bottles of genuine Heidelberger pils beer, two matching glasses and two coasters (the latter I swiped from "zum Wisse Schwan"...see below). When I got home, Steve and I drank a toast to my arrival and his survival. He looks happy, don't he?

Although now the TRUTH can be told. The gift pack I got Steve contained two glasses. One was engraved with "Heidelberger" (the term for a male native of Heidelberg) and one was engraved with "Heidelbergerin," (the term for a FEMALE native of Heidelberg). Obviously, the pack was designed to be shared by a man and a woman, but I didn't mind drinking out of the "Heidelbergerin" glass. I'm secure in my masculinity, and besides, I'm drinking BEER. GREAT beer, goddammit!
And speaking of the "boys," here they are enjoying a playful (more or less) tussle shortly after I returned:

It's good to be home, and yet I can't be happy being apart from my lovely, wonderful, beautiful wife. Here she is preparing to enjoy some Thai food outdoors on the cobblestone streets of the Alt Stadt on my last full day in Heidelberg:

I will see you soon, my love!

Things I like about Deutschland

I had a feeling before I visited Deutschland that I would like the way they do things. That turned out to be mostly true. First of all, EVERYONE rides bikes. Kids, students, grandmas, blue-collar types, executives, you name it. In fact, this can make for quite a jumble in the "parking lot."

I also very much like the bars/restaurants. Very close to Lisa's apartment is a place called the "Wisse Schwan," or White Swan. (Lisa may have to provide the exact name.) I struck up a very formal relationship with a waitress there (I should have taken a picture of her, you can only see her back in the photo below). She was the only person who asked me why I walked with a limp. I tried to explain to her in broken German why that was, and she expressed her sympathy in broken English. Well, not broken English, really. It was WAY better than my German. Anyway, the folks at the WS are friendly and they have a real live Stammtisch (Regular's Table) where patrons are allowed to bring their doggies. How civilized!

In the above photo, you can see a regular member of the Stammtisch in the lower left. Here's a better picture of Chika:

And finally, in a previous post, I took the Germans to task for their love of cigarettes, a habit I find all things "not German": stupid, illogical, sociopathic and reckless. But that's not for lack of warnings. Check this out!

Obviously, printing "smoking kills" and "smoking causes fatal lung cancer" right on the box in huge letters is quite a bit more progressive than the wimpy warnings we have in the States. (I'm sure my friend Lyle, who designs packaging for a living, blanches at the prospect of such labeling becoming typical in America.)
I hope that someday Americans can easily bike to their favorite pub and take their favorite doggie in with them, even if they have a cancer stick dangling from their lips!

Last H-berg days

On my last couple of days in Heidelberg, Lisa was busy doing frivolous things, like attending classes. The nerve! So it was up to me to entertain myself in H-berg, one of the most beautiful cities in Germany. What to do, what to do? Although I enjoy an urban environment, even I was getting a little edgy with the constant flow of people and the lack of green space in the Alt Stadt. So I decided to drag myself, artificial hip and all, up to the Philosophenweg, or Philosopher's Way, a lane that overlooks H-berg from high above the north side of the Neckar river. Word has it that Goethe and other reprobates availed themselves of the Philosophenweg to talk nice to (and subsequently have relations with) young ladies. I can see why. It's a good heart-pumping walk, but not too far -- Mr. Gimpyhip made it easily -- and the views of the city are quite breathtaking.

It's a good 12% incline or so up the cobblestone lane to the PWeg,

There are a few little outlooks with benches so one may rest and take pictures of H-berg across the Neckar. None of the photos I took with Sammy really did it justice, so if you want the full experience, you'll have to go do it yourself. And you should. At the top, where one reaches the "Pweg," I saw a little sign which said, I think, "Path to river may be closed in winter." No shit...it's a pretty slick slope as it is, and a bit of snow would make it an elbow-scrapin' trip down...

After scaling the heights of the "Pweg," one may return to H-berg across the Alten Brucke, "Old Bridge."

On the Heidelberg side of the Neckar, one finds a sculpture of...well, it is supposed to be a monkey, and it is, but I'm sure many drunk Heidelbergers have seen this Baboon from Hell in their nightmares:

Next to the the Monkey is a plaque. It is in Old German but Lisa translated it as best she could as: "What are you looking at? Haven't you seen enough in Heidelberg? If not, touch my plate and you will return." Or something to that effect.

Of course, I touched the plate, because I want more than anything to get back to my lovely, sexy, wonderful wife!

Heidelberg catch-up

I was unable to upload these two posts from Heidelberg, so here they are now!

Fruehling Im Heidelberg

Fruehling Im Heidelberg

Lisa has been lucky enough to land a really nice little student apartment in Heidelberg in the heart of the Alt Stadt (old city). The room itself has a tiny galley kitchen with a minifridge and a couple of hot plates on a range-top sufficient to heat saucepans and skillets, a private bathroom with kickass shower, and a nook featuring a writing desk from which she can view the building's courtyard and the hills beyond.




She was very lucky to get this room, as she was told to expect a regular (though private) dorm room where she would have to share a kitchen and bathroom facilities. In such an arrangement, the students are expected to share the cleaning duties, a hit-and-miss arrangement at best. I can tell you that if my floormates in the dorm I attended (in the Mesozoic Era) were required to clean the bathrooms and a kitchen, the health inspector would have received an emergency call within a month.

Lisa's apartment is just off the Hauptstrasse, a cobblestone, car-free street appoximately half a mile long that's lined with shops and boutiques (including the mighty Star Coffee, wherein we access the Internet.)


But just in case you think it's all fun and games for our girl, here's a photo of what she's been doing most: filling out forms.

Excuse me, I ordered a Zima...

Excuse me, I ordered a Zima...

...not emphysema.
The Germans, by and large, seem to be a pretty hearty and heath-conscious lot. They walk (with great purpose!) everywhere and true to the stereotype seem quite industrious. But their youth, much like their American counterparts, suffer one fatal exception: a love of smoking. And unlike in America, Germans are unenlightened (pun intended) about banning smoking in public places. Case in point, Star Coffee, where Lisa and I like to go to access the Internet and also enjoy super-delicious milschcoffee and chocolate muffins. When the students invade, suddenly the place becomes fogbound in a cancerous haze that makes our eyes water and burn and our clothes smell like an astray (not to mention what it does to our lungs). But who cares about cancer, emphysema, heart disease and poisoning the airspace of innocent and defenseless fellow patrons when one has a chance to look cool in front of one's mates?



There are not many instances when I can say it, but in this case, "Viva America, you hackin' Hessians!"

Heidelberg Schloss

Heidelberg Schloss

On Sunday, Lisa and I visited the schloss (castle) overlooking Heidelberg. Granted, every tourist who passes within 50 kilometers of "H-berg" does the same thing, but the schloss is like Niagra Falls...once you see it from a distance, you have to see it up close. And it's tough to miss, as it sits overlooking the Neckar river and dominates the hills southeast of the city.

For example, from the main plaza of H-berg's Alt Stadt (old city), the schloss squats overlooking the town in a wooded area that in America would undoubtedly be occupied by McMansions or luxury condos. The photos below were taken with the camera on my handheld (Sammy), which is best described not in terms of mega-pixels but rather "scheisse-pixels." However, one can still sense the darned majestic essence of the thing -- the schloss, I mean.

It's strange to think that people who live here just seem not to notice it...


We were fortunate to have a bit of sun on the day we went, and it's still so early in the tourist season that it wasn't too crowded. It's pretty easy to walk up to the schloss from the Alt Stadt, in which Lisa's student apartment is located. Even old Mr. Gimpyhip made it without too much difficulty. One enjoys lovely views of H-berg on the way up...

Then, suddenly, "look Ethyl, it's a durned castle!"

As Lisa pointed out, the schloss and the views from it just can't be captured on flm in a way that accurately conveys the experience, no matter how talented the photographer or how fancy the equipment. Perhaps one day when 3D becomes common, one will gain some conception second-hand. But for now, the only way is to join the tourists.

Below: The ruined southeast tower, and two views of H-berg.



Lisa's apartment is just to the left of the bridge.
After wandering around for a bit, Lisa and I had a lovely lunch of spinach crepes at a nice romantic restaurant near the schloss. It was great to have day of luxury, because next day, Lisa began her classes.

The High Life at the Hotel Auerstein

One of the things Lisa I did right on this trip was to get a hotel room at Hotel Auerstein the on our first day in Deutschland, rather than just head straight to the school and go through the room registration process right off the plane. It was great to simply crash for a couple of hours, then take shower to wash the "travel crud" off and head down to the hotel restaurant for a wonderful meal.

It was also really nice to get up the next morning -- well, we were up at 4am local and puttered around for a while -- and have a nice breakfast buffet waiting for us. I plan to do a post at the end of the trip summarizing my impressions of Deutschland, but I'll let one slip now: these folks really like their swine flesh. But luckily for Lisa, they also like their Nutella!


The hotel had internet access, but it was spotty from our room. Fortunately, we had done some research for free wi-fi spots before we left and found one at "Star Coffee." As luck would have it, one of Star Coffee's locations is just around the corner from Lisa's residence building. How fortunate. It's a very pleasant spot as you can see, despite the often incongruous music selection ranging from Cat Stevens to the Doobie Brothers!

Guten Tag From Deutschland!

Guten Tag From Deutschland!

Lisa and I arrived safely on Wednesday about 11:30 am German time. As I said to Lisa, "That was the best flight possible for a ten-hour haul in Economy Class." Luftansa's food was quite good, the booze was free and the attendants friendly and competent. That's about all you can ask, I reckon. After about five hours, it was impossible to get comfortable, but that was expected.

Customs was a bit anticlimactic -- the unsmiling and efficient gentleman glanced at my passport photo and then slammed a rather plain-looking stamp on it. But at least I got the satisfaction of an old-fashioned hand stamp -- I was afraid he'd just put my passport in a machine and it would "ka-chunk" like a timecard. Lisa and I then just sauntered through the "nothing to declare" gate.

After getting our baggage, Lisa and I wandered aimlessly for a while -- well, not aimlessly, but rather frazzledly -- looking for the Luftansa bus to Heidelberg. With the help of Lisa's Deutsche-sprechen skills and the nice lady at the Luftansa lost baggage counter, we were eventually sucessful.

This is for my brother, Steve: On the Autobahn, I saw a Ferrari Testarossa and innumerable Porsche 911 Cararras. They blew past the pokey old Luftansa bus -- the Ferrari sounding disturbingly like a lawnmower -- but we were happy to be comfy and firmly on our way to Heidelberg.

Once in town, we staggered around again in an effort to find the streetcar that went past our hotel. A lovely young woman gave Lisa some helpful instructions after I helped her haul her baby-laden pram up a flight of steps outside some government building (so much for Germans being unhelpful and untrusting). After a few more small misadventures (figuring out which tickets to buy for the streetcar and panicking for a moment on it because we thought we might be going the wrong way) we reached our hotel about when we estimated we would -- roughly 3pm local and after we'd been up 24 hours straight. Happily, our room looked just like the one on the Hotel Auerstein's web site. I don't think Lisa and I have ever been so happy to be anywhere in our lives.

Blogging from Pocket PC: The Geekery Continues

Blogging from Pocket PC: The Geekery Continues

I have been experimenting with ways to update my blog using my Pocket PC in anticipation of my upcoming trip to Deutschland. You'd think this would be a relatively simple matter, but it hasn't been. However, I think I may now have the problem licked.

I want to include both photos and copy. However, the e-mail blogging application offered by Blogger doesn't support attachments, which takes it out of the running as far as including photos. I could use "Flickr," an on-line photo sharing site that allows users to post photos on their blogs, but they can only include copy as captions to their pictures. That wasn't flexible enough for me.

So I first needed a Pocket PC application that allowed me to post to Blogger. However, since I use a smartphone (phone+pocket pc) not all such blogging programs will work. However, I finally located Blogs In Hand, a nifty program that seems to work well once I figured out that to access the Blogger server you have to use this crazy URL: http://plant.blogger.com/api/RPC2.

Then I needed an ftp program that would run on my PPC that would allow me to upload photos to the frinkenstein server; I could then reference the URL of the photo so it would appear on by blog. After downloading trial versions of several applications, I settled on Pocket FTP. Now I should be able to post and include photos like the following: my set-up, with Buster helpfully giving it some scale:

Here's the packed rig. Pretty cool!
Okay, that should be the last "nuts and bolts" post for a while!

Deutsch tune

Last week was the final week of regular classes for my Deutsch class. We were encouraged to do any kind of project for extra points (or "pluspunkte") if we desired. So how could I pass up an opportunity to do a song auf Deutsch?! The result was "Ich habe keine angst," or "I have no fear." I have posted it below in mp3 format...just click on the image below, which was the cover I put together for the CD.

Be aware that the mp3 is about 2 megs, so it could take a few minutes if you don't have broadband. Argotnaut has Quicktime installed as her default mp3 player, and it apparently will stream mp3s. Who knew? Not me. Leave it to Apple-designed applications, which seem to work with a minimum of fuss. "But where's the challenge?" I say! Those of you who prefer a streaming experience -- and who doesn't? -- can copy and paste this URL into your RealMedia Player, and it should stream: http://frinkenstein.com/Ich_habe_keine_angst.rm
I tried to do a link to the RealMedia file but it wouldn't work for some reason.

Anyway, the tune turned out okay, considering I'm no audio engineer and it was essentially a "one-off" thing. On Wednesday, the class is having its "final," which is a mandatory pot luck where we will all get together for snacks and receive our grades. The instructor plans to play the tune then. I'm curious about the reaction of my classmates..."Uh, yeah...um...that was really...um...interesting."

The good thing is that this exercise got me off my lazy ass a bit to start composing and recording again. That's good news for ME; I don't know if it's good news for any afflicted audience! (P.S. -- Argotnaut helps out with backing vocals.)


Here are the lyrics:

Ich habe keine Angst
Ich verstehe, ich kenne deinen Name.
Ich kenne dein Gesicht.
Du darfts nicht sagen wie ich Leben.
Ich höre dich nicht

Das Leben ist kurz, Ich muss es leben.
Es ist ein Geschenk. Ich muss es geben.

Ich habe keine angst.

Ich weiß es nicht immer leicht ist.
Ich weiß ich manchmal Zweifele habe.
Ich werde halten nicht, vor ich beginne.
Ich will keine bewegende leiche sein.

You can copy and paste the lyrics in Altavista's babelfish translator, although, as usual, some of the stuff comes out all crooked. ("Weiß" is interpreted as "white" instead of "know," which is an understandable faux pas given that "Weiß ("white") is also a form of "wissen" (to know). And the translator doesn't recognize "darfts nicht" as "must not." But possibly you'll get the gist. If you listen to the tune and don't like it, well, sorry to waste your time. And if you do, drink a toast to these guys and these guys.

Critters on Parade

A quick critter update before I move to other things...Last week Lisa pointed out to me that Buster had been climbing the door jambs and clawing the living crap out of them. But the little guy really doesn't have anyplace to sharpen his claws or climb, so I made a decision: buy a cat tree. I had been eyeing one at the local planet-friendly pet shop, but I thought it was a bit expensive, though very well made of completely recycled materials. However, it was a lot less expensive then replacing our door jambs periodically. So I walked to the shop (Green Dog, a great place) with our luggage cart, and toted the thing home. Cookie took to it immediately:


However, Buster was initially frightened by it, reacting as if it was some giant, unmoving, golem-like creature brooding by the front window. However, after a little while he worked up his nerve and investigated it. Of course, now it's his favorite place:


In other critter news, I let Buddy in the back yard a couple hours ago for an early-evening pee-break. Suddenly, he started barking like mad -- and not his usual "pinging the neighborhood" bark to see if any other dogs were out, but rather a frantic "there's something back here!" bark. So I went out and behold! An opossum on the fence! Lisa managed to take a picture of the little guy:

Finally, after much yelling at Buddy to calm down, we all went back inside and let the poor critter continue on his way.

T-minus one month to Deutschland

Our trip to Deutschland is fast approaching! Lisa got her "informations" from Heidelberg that instruct her on where she needs to go and what she needs to do when we touch down, and that also included a nice map of the city. We decided to book a room at a nice little hotel in north Heidelberg on the day we arrive, rather than go straight to the University office for room registration. That way, after the ten-hour flight, trip through Frankfurt airport, and one-hour train (or bus) trip to Heidelberg, we can just crash, fall back and regroup. Then Lisa can be a bit fresher when she goes through the ordeal of getting her room assignment, room keys and other associated bureaucratic rigmarole. After reading about Heidelberg, I already feel as if I want to live there. We'll see how I feel when I see it in person!

My German studies are going well. I'm getting an "A" in my class, and can speak complete sentences and make myself understood...mostly. It's exciting but I still have many rough patches. For example, Lisa and I were out in a local cafe last Tuesday talking German with some of her classmates. They were asking about us and I said, or attempted to say, "Our life is boring." ("Wir leben ist Langeweile.") However, instead of pronouncing "leben" like this -- "lay-ben" -- I pronounced it "lee-ben" which is actually "lieben," or "love." Thus, I said, "Our love is boring." Lisa reacted suitably aghast and much fun was had at my expense. Oh well, I'll get better.

Once Lisa gets her room, (which should happen on Thursday, the day after we arrive) we'll have a few days before her classes start and we should be able to tour Heidelberg together. Part of the appeal for me will be to see many of the same sights Mark Twain describes in "A Tramp Abroad." Lisa will likely start classes on the following Monday. I'll be coming back the following Thursday, which will give me lots of time to poke around the town.

Then it will just be me and my brother in Portland until August. And THAT will be a whole other adventure!

A Hardware Man is Good to Find

It's hard to believe that it's been almost a year since I got my artificial hip. Today I went for a one-year-out follow-up with Dr. Hikes. The techs took some new x-rays and the Doc and I looked at the results. The prognosis: excellent. Everything is healing as it should, with plenty of solid bone growth and no nasty looking anomalies.

Here's the most fun x-ray, which shows not only the two screws Dr. Hikes used to secure my artificial socket into the tattered remains of my pelvis (the screws pointing upward in this photo), but also the big honkin' screw that's perpendicular to the joint which Dr. Sorkin (the trauma surgeon in Rockford, IL who put old Humpty together again) used to kinda gather all the pieces together. It's strange that I don't really think of all this hardware as alien artifacts or violations of my person. I think of it as really cool engineering. I guess that's because it's been such an improvement over the pre-surgery mangled hip.


In fact, I've healed so well that Dr. Hikes said it would be fine for me to attempt to ride the monster distances I used to ride before the calamity (with reasonable training first, of course). I wasn't sure if 50-70 mile rides through the mountain ranges of Oregon would be a good idea as far as wear on the hip was concerned. But in fact bicycling is one of the best things I can do. It's not weight bearing, doesn't subject the joint to the shock and pounding of an activity such as jogging, and it helps keep all the muscles and connecting tissue loose and flexible. Dr Hikes even said that my hip would likely withstand a spill without major damage. "Just don't get hit by another car," he said.

Aye, there's the rub. Do I confine my riding to bike paths, or do I get back out on the open road where it's most enjoyable, and most dangerous, to ride. Lisa would just as soon I stay in the "kiddie pool" and I can't say I blame her. But one of the reasons we moved out here from Chicago was to enjoy the beautiful scenery, and there's no better way to appreciate it than from a bike seat. I've been meaning to ride from Portland to the coast for FOUR YEARS now and for various reasons still haven't done it.

I also used to hike in the mountains but assured Lisa that actual mountain-climbing was not for me, mostly because of the risk of avalanches and crevasses. Said I, "I don't want to engage in an activity where you can do everything right and still get killed." That phrase sticks in my mind about cycling as well...it only takes one motorist yapping on a cell phone/reaching for a CD/putting on make-up/punching in a radio station to ruin your whole day. Look around you sometime and take note of the percentage of inattentive/distracted/angry motorists there are! Of course, everyone out there is rolling the dice on survival. It's just that it'd be really bad if I came up "snake eyes" again. If only I got the same thrill from knitting.

Success! (mostly)

Ha! Now I should be able to update this blog from Germany using just my handheld PDA! And all I'll need is a WiFi connection and the small ftp program loaded on "Sammy" that enables me to upload photos to the frinkenstein server. The secret was to turn off the "wysiwyg" editing option on Blogger. Doing so allows me to type posts in straight HTML, and thus I can enter the URL for my uploaded photos. With "wysiwyg" turned on, my Pocket PC version of Internet Explorer was unable to "see" the buttons that allow bloggers to switch back and forth between "compose" mode and "html" mode.

There are a few drawbacks: With the "wysiwyg" editor turned off, I can't adjust the size of the photos while typing the post (note giant Buddy photo below.) So I'll have to pay close attention to size of the photos before I upload them. There may be a way to resize photos on the handheld, but if so I haven't discovered it. Also, when I tried to post a follow-up last night using Sammy, for some reason I could only type a paragraph or so, and then the Pocket Internet Explorer browser cleared and I lost my post. It's unclear at this point if that's a Blogger problem, a browser problem or pilot error. (I'm typing this post on my laptop). So a little more experimentation is necessary. But so far, so good! And it's very cool to think that I can update my blog with just "Sammy," and, for convenience, my little flexible keyboard. I shall look quite geeky sitting in a coffee shop with my dinky handheld and keyboard -- but the entire rig will weight about a pound and fit into a coat pocket!

Okay, I promise that future posts will be less geeky and more interesting!

Handheld blog from bed!

Okay! I'm lying in bed tapping on my handheld, which I've named "Sammy" on account of it's a Samsung i-700. I believe I've figured out how to update this blog -- including photos -- usung just Sammy and a WiFi connection. The big test is if I can make a photo of Buddy appear. Here goes:

Further experimentation is necessary

Well, that didn't work out 100% well. I can do text posts from the handheld, but unlike working on the laptop (which I'm doing now) the handheld screen doesn't include an "edit HTML" link so right now I'm not sure how to provide a path to any photos that I upload. Also, I had to publish the previous post from my laptop, because once I saved it as a draft, I was unable to access it again on the handheld.

Oh well. That's why I'm fooling around with stuff two months before we take our trip to Germany. It will probably take me that long to figure out how to update my blog from there!

Anyway, here are some nice photos that I was trying to link to from the handheld. The first is evidence that the late winter months are "rainbow months" here in Portland. They are also the "hail months" but we haven't seen much of that yet.


The second is the modest crowd at Costello's during the Super Bowl, which consisted (it appeared) of regulars who were reading and dinking around on the 'net using laptops. I felt a bit conspicuous in my Bears jersey. But watching the game a Costello's was like going to a nice non-smoking friend's house who had really great beer (Fuller's ESB on tap) and great food (lovely grilled panini sandwiches.)

Handheld Super Post!

Woohoo!

I'm composing this post on my handheld Pocket PC, equipped with rollup keyboard and itty bitty WiFi card.

Actually, I was hoping to post from Costello's Travel Cafe during the Super Bowl half time show using their free WiFi, but their signal was unreliable. So instead I'm posting from my kitchen table at home.

This is a trial run to see if I can update my blog from my handheld. If so, I can update from Germany this spring when Lisa and I go and I can do so without taking my laptop. Pretty cool if it works. The only question is if I can include photos...the handheld doesn't seem to indicate an HTML window in the browser, which is what I use to include photos on this blog. So here's a test. Let's see if I can make a photo that I uploaded to my site earlier appear here:

This is why I shouldn't drink...much

Mercifully, the Chicago Bears season came to an end today. Because it's unlikely that many readers of this blog are fans of American football (or, as my sister-in-law and her British boyfriend call it, "meatball," to distinguish it from actual football which the rest of the world plays), I won't bore you with the many reasons why watching the Bears this season has been excruciating. Let's just say, the Bears suck and leave it at that.

However....

I will miss going to the local sports bar to watch the Bears games, because I really enjoy the company of my fellow suffering Bears fans. Each week, John, Jennifer, Rich and I get together and curse loudly at the Bears' ineptitude. Also we drink some. Not unusual behavior among sports fans, except that the first round of NFL games on the west coast starts at 10 am. So we usually order the first pitcher of delicious Oregon microbrew beer at 11 am or so. So by 1 pm we're pretty toasty. Not a lot, but some.

This leads me to to be pretty, uh, philosophical by early afternoon each Sunday. For instance, today Lisa and I got together after the game to go to a local theater/pub and watch "Napoleon Dynamite." (As an aside, it's a wonderful movie, best appreciated by those of us who spent high school as hopelessly geeky and unpopular dweebs in small towns in the "flyover states.") On the way home, Lisa was telling me how she hated the swimsuit that she would have to wear for her swimming class in the coming term. So I said, "So don't wear a suit. Swim naked."

She looked at me askance.

"Why not? It a chlorinated pool. And wearing a suit while swimming is stupid. It's just a product of our misguided puritanical upbringing."

"I'm not going to swim naked," she replied. "What about the creepy guys, like the uncle in Napoleon Dynamite?"

"A creepy guy will be a creepy guy regardless of whether you're wearing a swim suit or not," I countered.

"Let's talk about something else," Lisa said, in a tone that meant, "You've had too much to drink and you're annoying the shit out of me."

Of course, she's right. But so am I. Why do "the expected" if "the expected" makes you unhappy?

Anyway, being thus shut down, I began to think about my New Year's resolution. I usually like to try to pick a bad habit that I want to eliminate. This year, I've decided that I won't play computer games until everything on my "to do" list is completed. Which means never. But on the way home, inspired by "Napoleon Dynamite," I thought that another New Year's resolution should be, "I'm going to celebrate my uniqueness."

I'm not sure right now exactly what that means, but it will probably have something to do with pursuing activities that interest me regardless of whether they serve some sort of "purpose" or not. And what's sad is I'm not sure if I can determine what those activities are if I'm completely sober. I think I need to have had a couple of drinks to overcome my natural Presbyterian tendency to dismiss things that don't serve an overt "goal" as "stupid."

When I was a teenager, I enjoyed astrophotography, certainly not because it had any marketable value or because "everyone was doing it" but because it interested me. A few years ago, I gave up my full-time job and started working part-time so I could take piano lessons in order to expand my knowledge of music theory, with the goal of writing music for films. Unlikely? Yes! Waste of time? No!

Anyway, my New Year's resolution of celebrating my uniqueness may lead me to do something far-fetched. I'm just not sure if I can identify my uniqueness sober. But I hope so. Drunks are annoying, and rarely correct.

Buster: The Cat Who Hated Christmas!

Our newest cat, Buster, is quite the riot. If he were a person, he'd be the epitome of today's "extreme" (or is that X-treme?) generation, and no doubt he'd ride a snowboard/skateboard and wear a goatee. He runs around like crazy, sometimes literally climbing the walls, and he's fascinated with running water. When Lisa takes a bath, he'll sit on the side of the tub and shove both his forearms into the suds all the way up to his shoulders. He's actually a very cool cat, but much as some folks have to "childproof" their house, we have to "Busterproof" ours, being sure not to leave small, shiny, breakable items on tables or on the window sills.

Thus, I knew I was tempting fate when I constructed our annual "Christmas alter." We usually don't have a tree because hauling one is a lot of trouble if you don't own a car, and the cats would knock it over anyway. I thought, however, that I might be able to build a nice holiday display where Lisa and I could put our presents:



What was I thinking?...





That's okay. He's really a good kitty. But you can see that a real tree would be a real problem!

Deutscheland or bust?

A few days ago, Lisa found out that Portland State University had room for her in their "study abroad" program (insert silly "study a broad" joke here) . This would be for summer school -- approximately mid-April to Mid-July -- and an excellent opportunity for her, as a German major, to study and learn the language under ideal circumstances, i.e., in Germany. Because there's no reason that her application won't be accepted (they have room, she has more than completed the prerequisites and her grades are great), we've been going on the assumption that the trip will happen.

Ideally, I'd like to be with her the whole time, but there are a couple problems with that. Primarily, we're uncomfortable with both of us leaving Buddy for three straight months. Also, her housing is paid for if she lives in a dorm, so it makes sense to take advantage of that (especially given the crappy dollar/euro exchange rate right now, thanks a bunch George W. you deficit-spending chimp). Although each student has their own room, it's still a tiny space with shared common areas. And as much as we love each other, spending three months in a room the size of a walk-in closet could be difficult for us both. Plus, I lived in a dorm during my first two years in college, and I have no burning desire to repeat that experience. To put it mildly.

So right now we're planning that I fly over with her, spend two/three weeks, come home, then fly back at the end of her stay for two/three weeks and have a bit of a belated honeymoon in Europe.

All fine and good, but that means a lot of planning.

First, what to do with the pets? My sister Tavia has graciously offered to take Buddy for the duration, but I'd have to get him out to Ohio and it doesn't solve the problem of what to do with our three cats. Luckily, my brother Steve has tentatively agreed to move out to Portland and house sit during that time and mind the boys and the homestead. It works out well for him because he's been wanting to spend an extended time here -- with a possibility of the move being permanent -- and this would give him a chance to live rent-free and look for a job from a stable home base. Plus he loves the animals and they love him.

Second, I want to learn at least a bit of the language. I've heard that many Germans speak at least some English because it's widely taught in their schools. But I want to make the effort to converse auf Deutsche while I'm in Deutscheland, as I think it's rude to expect them to know YOUR language when you are in THEIR country. So I signed up for a beginning German class at Portland Community College. (This has the added benefit of me not having to pay back my student loans right away -- ha ha!).

And third, I need to get a passport. I've always wanted to get one but never had the impetus. Now I do, so I ordered a copy of my birth certificate, and today I went downtown to the Post Office to submit my passport application. With that, I really got excited about the prospect of going to a completely new country and expanding my horizons (literally). The helpful woman at the Post Office noted that on my application under "occupation" I'd put "writer." She said, "This should give you something good to write about!" And how!

Lots can happen between now and then, but I'm looking forward to the trip already. Many of my relatives are from Germany, and also, I've heard they have beer there. Just a rumor, probably.