Thursday, February 09, 2006

Oh Baby Matinee

Since the end of the pro football season (RIP), I've been in movie mode -- that is, seeing them, renting them, and making them.

My first student film, "Buddy Quest," was screened in class last week. It turned out reasonably well, but mostly it did what it was supposed to do -- i.e., show you everything you can do wrong. For instance, Robert Rodriguez may say that you should throw away your tripod, and just use your hands, but if you do that, your film will look like it's been shot by a palsied hunchback. Not that I'm gainsaying Mr. Rodriguez. Far from it. I'm only saying that in most situations a tripod is a good idea if you don't want your movie to resemble those newsreels made by Vietnam combat filmmakers who kept filming whilst running for their lives when Charlie suddenly appeared out of the jungle. Although in Mr. Rodriguez's defense, he also says to "get a wheelchair and push yourself around in it," which is exactly the suggestion our film instructor made. Maybe I shoulda hung on to mine.

I will get "Buddy Quest" transferred to video along with my second student film, which my co-director and I will shoot tomorrow and Saturday. Then we get the video files for both films back at the same time, and we begin editing the films digitally, I believe using Apple "Final Cut."

The most interesting viewing experience I've had recently was at the Kennedy School, a refurbished grade school nearby that has been converted to a hotel/theater/brewpub. On Mondays and Tuesdays, they have a "Mommy Matinee" ("Babies Welcome!") that allows hapless new parents to actually crawl out of their caves and go see a movie. Last week they showed "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" ,which I'd been interested in seeing. Due to the theater showing the film at 1 pm and being an easy walk from my house, I was willing to risk the potential "squall line," because I didn't think it would be that overrun with little bundles of joy.

Boy was I wrong!

There must've been about 30 of the little darlins in the place! It was actually quite amazing to see. It also kind of made me grateful that the calamity took away most of my sense of smell.

I'd do the "Mommy Matinee" again, but "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" was not a good choice for it -- too much fast talking and muttered, though clever, dialogue, which was drowned out frequently by occasional crying, squeaking, fidgeting and spit-up-ing from all quarters of the room. I'm not saying the concept of a Mommy Matinee is a bad idea. Clearly, a need exists. But a better choice of film would be a brainless superhero movie. Maybe Fantastic Four. No need to catch all the witty repartee there -- just a 50-foot screen upon which to show Jessica Alba. Plus, I'm not sure how much language babies retain when they are less than a year old, but if they retain a fair amount, then the first word out of these babies mouths will be "fuck." A character in the movie actually apologizes "to the folks in the Midwest" for using the word so often in the film.

I'd like to be around to film that magical moment when little angelic Brandon or Caitlin utter their first intelligible words: "Blblbllbl hmmmmm flibble fuck! FUUUUUCK! frabja..."

"Oh honey! Isn't that darling! She's channeling Denis Leary!"


Tavia said...

Well, at least you didn't film a rubber octopus terrorizing a small woodland stream.

Tavia said...

Perhaps the creators of "Mommy Matinee" didn't think that mommies would want to see 50 feet worth of Jessica Alba.

liz said...

Too true.